I've used a few SMF forums before, so I can help out with a couple of the issues.
If you want to be directed back to your posts after you make them, go into your profile, go to Look and Layout Preferences, and check "Return to topics after posting by default."
In order to link to a specific post, you can grab the link from the icon at the top-left corner of each post. It doesn't separate the post from the rest of the thread, but it will automatically scroll to it.